I was tempted to start this post with, “I’m sorry, but,” but to be honest, I’m not sure why I should post something that I’m “sorry to say.” I am genuinely frustrated right now.
So, I need to vent for a moment, and make a desperate plea…
If you’re claiming to be a Christian, but not living it out, please stop with the label. I am so sick of going to Facebook, reading someone’s “religious” belief being “Christian,” then watching them live a lifestyle that denies the very nature of what it means to be Christian.
I know, that sounds harsh. So to be clear, whoever you are, to all those reading this, please understand that I love you regardless. I have lots of non-Christian friends, and I genuinely care about them. We hang out, have a great time together, and our affection for each other is unconditional. No judging takes place, and I’m never out to force my beliefs on anyone. If you don’t believe what I believe, I promise, I am totally comfortable with that. (And I believe that I have friends who would attest to this.) Life is a journey, and you don’t have to believe what I believe in order for me to care about you, love you, and be your friend. Maybe this post isn’t for you, or wasn’t written for you.
But if it does apply, and you’re doing what I’m talking about here, please stop. I’m sick of dealing with the mess created by those using the name of my God as a label for your life, then live a life that goes against the very nature of the God you claim to believe in.
“Christ,” the name of the person your label is based on, does not endorse the way you take advantage of others, live selfishly, or use His name to justify your lack of character.
I’m not expecting all followers of Jesus to be perfect. I’m not. I’d just like for those who claim to follow Jesus, to actually attempt to follow Jesus. There’s a big difference between imperfect Christians who live in grace, and careless people who feel no conviction for the wrong they knowingly do to others, and the selfishness with which they live. There are incredibly awesome organizations like People of the Second Chance, whose message is spot on. Unconditional love and radical grace is absolutely necessary. But I’m writing to the people who would respond to their message saying, “Why do I need a second chance? I’m not doing anything wrong,” while talking about how much they love God, and labeling themselves “christian” when given the opportunity.
My heart is broken right now because I have close friends who are rejecting the belief that Jesus was God, and if he wasn’t, what makes this life worth living? They might claim that their reasoning is intellectually based, but the reality has more to do with an absence of genuinely experiencing God. Two people can argue all day long about evolution, creation, the resurrection, the inerrancy of scripture, etc. etc. etc. But when someone genuinely experiences the God of the universe, that person’s life is forever changed. Sure, all the scientific evidence in support of the historical accuracy of the Bible doesn’t hurt in strengthening someone’s faith, but a personal, undeniable experience of God blows that out of the water. If you have that, you start to realize that it doesn’t have to “make sense,” anymore, because you personally and undeniably experienced Him.
I know, there are smart people out there who are intelligent enough to say, “C’mon man…I’m not dissing Christianity just because of imperfect Christians who don’t live out their faith well.” But really?? There’s more to it than that. What if they’ve just had an absence of a genuine experience with God?
What if someone got burned and screwed over by Christians their whole life, then decided to give the whole idea once last chance, and walks into your church service on Sunday, and gets judged by their outfit, what they look like, or the fact that they’re an “outsider.” Worse yet, what if someone spends their entire life among people who acknowledge God with their lips, computer keyboards, and online profiles, but deny Him with their lifestyles? Then it might be possible to spend your entire life with “christians,” but mostly have an overwhelming pile of evidence that God doesn’t really exist, or at the very least, isn’t who He said He was through Jesus. Who’d want to believe christianity is true at all after experiencing nothing but people who live with labels, but whose lives aren’t any different than those without that label?
You just eliminated what could be powerful evidence of God’s existence: Experiencing God through one of His believers. I grew up in church. Then I grew up, starting thinking, and began to question. I had serious doubts. But it was seeing and experiencing God through the genuine lives of others that allowed me to discover God in a way that not only changed my life, but gave me the faith to believe.
We all have our lists of experiencing the opposite…
- A good friend of mine moved from the West Coast to Nashville, TN, because he thought it’d be a more healthy environment. Then he got screwed by all the “christians” living in Nashville. He was going to be a youth pastor, and now he denies Jesus was the son of God, and thinks the Bible is just a bunch of fables and folklore.
- Last year, my wife and I sold our house. It was purchased by a “christian” couple. Well, we still own that house and are currently paying for two properties. Why? Because we moved out right before closing, so they could move in. But apparently, “God told them to buy a different house at the last second.” I guess God changed his mind? Well, we got screwed, and the wave affects that experience had on our finances has impacted every facet of our lives. I don’t understand why God would tell someone to do something that goes against the very nature of his character. Or…maybe he didn’t, and someone just didn’t do the right thing.
- I have a close family member who is gay. I love and care about him deeply. He thinks he’s happy, but he’s not. With perspective, it’s easy to have the understanding that he actually isn’t. You can see the hurt, fear, insecurity, lack of meaning, purpose, and joy. (This is not a debate about homosexuality. I’m not saying he lacks these things because he lives a gay lifestyle, though that is partly what I believe. The larger issue is that he lacks these things based upon a rejection of Christ.) My point here is that his view of Christianity is nothing close to what the Bible actually teaches. It was shaped. By “christians.” You know…the kind who aren’t or weren’t actually christians.
- I used to have a neighbor who became a close friend. He was in his 40’s, and a good man. He treated me better than a lot of my “christian” friends. I could never get him to get plugged into a church/community of believers. Why? According to him and his experience, “christians just want your money, and church is about the offering.”
I could go on and on… Why search for God, or even be interested, if you get burned by the people who supposedly represent him?
Again, please, please don’t get me wrong. I’m not perfect. And I’m in no place to judge. I’ve done my fair share of damage by my own actions speaking louder than my words. But now, though I’ll never be perfect, I have gained some perspective and I’m desperate for people to be genuine. This contradicting label vs. lifestyle thing is causing serious, serious, serious problems. I don’t understand what the source of the problem is…
Is it a lack of education about what a true christian is? Are people just oblivious to the damage they’re doing in the lives of people around them?
For the sake of clarity, just because you say you are, or your Facebook profile claims it, doesn’t make you a christian. Just because you grew up in a “religious” home with “christian” parents, doesn’t make you a christian. Just because you’ve been to church, doesn’t make you part of the church, or in other words, a christian. What will make you one? A full, whole-hearted desire and commitment to follow Christ. If you don’t know what that looks like, that’s a conversation I would love to have.
In the meantime…please, let your actions speak louder than your words. If you’re still searching, keep searching. But if you don’t believe in living out your faith, then please stop claiming your faith, and put an end to the damage you’re doing in giving people an inaccurate experience of a real, genuine God.
If that’s something you believe you’re already doing, and think I’m out of line here, please don’t hesitate to share your opinion and correct me. Should I have more grace? Maybe my judgement is being clouded by frustration.
And to those of you who think I’m crazy because you think I believe in a “fake religion,” please know that I am desperate for you to discover God through a genuine experience with Him. If you’ve been burned by people who supposedly represent Him, I am so sorry. And if you say your reasoning for not believing is completely different and mostly intellectual, because what I believe just “doesn’t make sense,” I can assure you it’s because you haven’t yet experienced God. Seek Him. Try it. I dare you.
If you honestly and truly pursue Him, have faith, and believe, through His spirit you’ll have a changed life, and a huge collection of God stories of your own. When it happens, you won’t need a label. Others will experience Him through you, you’ll have all the “proof” you need, along with the faith to move on. Even when it doesn’t make sense…
Tags: atheism, burned by christians, christian vent, experiencing god, fake christianity, harris iii, labels
Harris, I have to say a big Amen! I am a youth pastor. You actually visted my former church. I believe you are 100% correct. People don’t take their proffession of faith seriously. They think that it’s enough to make the claim to be a “christian”. I don’t think people understand or even care that it is a very personal, and intimate relationship that you have with the Great Creator of the universe. They don’t understand that once you make the claim to follow Christ, you are carrying a banner, whether you like it or not. It is by your actions and not your words that the Banner is tarnished or given glory. I may be taking this out of context, but I believe it applies to the matter as well when Paul told the “religous folks” that the Name of God is blasphemed among the gentiles because of you. That is exactly what we cause when we claim to be something that we are not leaving out. People watch those who claim to follow Christ, whether you like it or not. You will be a witness, good or bad. Thank you for your boldness, We could use alot more people with your influence to take the same stand.
Wow… thank you! I can relate to that. When i first came to know Christ i was still having a hard time with letting go of the “world” i guess you can say. I didn’t take my faith or what Christ did for me seriously then and it really did affect a lot of people. I couldn’t see it then but God showed me (painfully) and i have repented! Jesus is my life and now i do live for HIM, not me. I have been trying to make amends for the trouble/confusions i caused, but really like you said, others have definitely experienced God through me and my family. So i am with you on this and understand how damaging it is! Thank you for putting this out there.
Hi Harris! First of all, let me say that I think you are awesome and very talented (my kids love you). Your love for God actually blows me away in the sincerity that comes across in it.
Anyhow, I totally agree with you. My wife and I don’t go to church anymore. We are sick of people who call themselves a christian. We went to a large church and held a position in ministry and had a lot of friends. Today not one of those people come around, call,email, text, write a letter…nothing! So many people and they only make time for themselves. They go to church and think they deserve to be blessed by GOD in the service every Sunday. We left because the church burnt us out and we were exhausted. With a son who was ill with cancer, we had a hard time managing ministry and when I lost my job they refused to pay me and I worked fulltime 60 hours a week for the church. They said “do it for God” nice excuse for being cheap.
Sorry to say, but we lost everyone when we left the church. I don’t have respect for people who call themselves a christian anymore because I think they are mostly just full of themselves, not God. I was raised in church and I have a long line of ministers/pastors in my family. The sad thing is I have been around hypocrites all my life and now I wonder if I have ever really experienced God genuine at all in my life. I don’t know anymore…
Anyhow, sorry for rambling. I keep up with your site since we saw you 1 week ago for the first time. Keep up the great work! I wish I was surrounded by more people like you in life. It does hurt what Christians do and to watch the way they act. But, then I see you for the first time proclaiming very sincerely your love for God. WOW! Take care and thank you for your time
“And by this we know that we have come to know Him, if we keep His commandments. Whoever says “I know Him” but does not keep His commandment is a liar and the truth is not in him, but whoever keep His word, in him truly the love of God is perfected. By this we may know that we are in Him: whoever says he abides in Him ought to walk in the same way in which He walked.” I John 2:3-6 The evidence of our truly being saved by the grace of the Lord Jesus Christ is we have a lifestyle that proves it. As Christians we forget that one day we will stand before Him and give an account of our lives and will not have one second to make excuses.
“We are the salt of the earth, BUT if the salt loses its taste how will the saltiness be restored? It is no longer of any use but to be thrown out and trampled under people’s feet.” Salt heals, preserves, enhances flavor but we Christians have forgotten it’s purpose and God is being judged and rejected by the world because of our actions.
Spot on my friend. I must say my ADHD doesn’t usually allow me to read long blog posts. This time I found myself reading the whole thing. I am also a youth pastor (over 12 years)…there was a time where I considered leaving the ministry to pursue a job outside the church. It mainly was because of people that professed to be Christians and key leaders not acting like Christians. I was done and was so angry I was going to be totally disobedient to the Lord and leave the ministry. After sharing my feelings with non judgmental life living Christians God encouraged me and saw me through it all.
Thing is…what about those that can’t find those that can encourage? What if all they see is people pretending to be Christians.
In Matt 23:13-28 we see a perfect example of people pretending to be something they are not. What horrifies me is the verse “you make him twice as much a son of hell as you are”. Not only are those that profess but don’t possess head toward hell they also drag others with them. I ask the question : “If people truly follow you where will you lead them?”
Mahatma Ghandi actually considered Christianity in one part of his life…but he concluded that Christianity could NOT be the answer because of the insincerety and inconsistency of those who claimed to be followers of Christ.
Yeah, I’m a work in progress…but God does want us to cooperate with the molding process so at some point we can represent Him to a world that desperately needs him. He’s the only true answer and we are his best (and at times worst) representatives.
Thanks Mr. Harris, for raising the question for us to ponder once again.
Guys – I am so blown away by some of these comments. I mean, I knew I wasn’t alone, but wow!
Mark – Bro, I am SO sorry. Thank you for your attitude and response. Maybe I have just been emotionally spent over the past 48 hrs, but your comment brought me to tears. I’m not making that up. I do not take your words lightly, and you’ll never truly understand how encouraging they are, and at the same time, make me furious towards the people who burned you. They were leaders!! Totally unacceptable, and “sad” would be an understatement.
Randy – I did not know this about Ghandi. What a powerful example!!! Thank you so much for sharing!!
Jamie – Glad you made it through the post brother…it was indeed a long one. Sorry for that. Ha!
Again, everyone, thanks for sharing. Spread the word, re-post the blog if you’ve enjoyed it, and send other this way. And thanks again for sharing scripture, stories, and comments. Keep it up!
As a guy who’s been burned by Christians before, I have spent parts of my life in and out of love with the Church. With Jesus’ bride. Eventually I realized something about grace that has been giving me a different kind of peace. It’s the fact that Jesus loves and wants grace for everybody through His sacrifice and victory.
It’s really simple. I know Jesus wants me to have grace and room for pagans (the real deal), atheists, addicts of every kind, and/or every other clique… But I’ve realized that I have withheld the idea of grace from one other sect. The evangelicals who constantly hurt and mislead others.
Jesus loves every sinner…even evangelical.
That doesn’t mean that there aren’t wolves out there devouring the sheep that need to be removed from the system. But it does mean that I have to constantly work hard to leave room in my heart to have compassion for them. Sometimes I have leave the 99 to pursue the 1. And the 1 is sometimes the confused sheep.
I understand and share in your plea for dramatic cultural change in much of the Christian world, but there are many out there working hard to bring the hope, love, and grace of Jesus Christ to everyone.
Be well and may the passion in which you suffer for someday be realized in many more.
But leave room for the messiness of grace…even for those who you think should get it already.
In the parable of the lost sheep as well as the others that follow it all follow the same pattern. There is something lost (sheep, coin and so on). There is a search that is exhaustive. Once found there is rejoicing. The application is then about a sinner that repents. Repentance is key in this whole thing. I still sin just like the rest of them. I can tell you this. That win I goof up (daily I might add) the Holy Spirit convicts and I ask for forgiveness and repent (turn away from). If we just say oh well I messed up and God forgives we are on the wrong path. Yes God does forgive but it is through Christ’s sacrifice on the cross. By our fruits we are known. We can’t just say something we have to live it.
Add me to the list of Christ followers who have been burnt and bewildered by those who name the name of Christ. My family just lost our church home, a place where I loved and served for nearly 11 years because of lukewarm (fake?) Christianity.
Last summer I discovered that my deacon husband of nearly 20 years was having an affair with a woman in our church. One week after my discovery I learned that this was my husband’s SECOND affair, the first had been a few months earlier and was with another woman — an intercessory prayer leader in the church- who also happened to be one of my closest friends, like a sister to me!!!!!!!!!!!!! They were all three terribly wrong but the first woman, my “friend”, actively pursued my husband. (Our pastor and elders said that if someone had told them a man in our church had committed adultery with TWO women in the church my husband would have been the LAST person they would have suspected.)
Adding anguish to my agony, at the time of my discovery I was leading a Beth Moore Bible study on Esther. Both these women were regular members of my class! The second woman(who is also married) was having sex with my husband every Thursday night and attending Bible Study with me on Sunday Mornings!!!! Oh Heaven help us….
When this matter became public knowledge in the church, I was blamed, blackballed and accused of being unrighteous because I wanted the sin exposed.
It just has to stop. The Bible says that judgement will begin in the house of God. So many “Christians” today are what I call “grace heavy/truth light.” We want the fire insurance but we don’t want the discipline of walking in the Spirit. I am heartbroken over all of it.
(For the record God enabled me to forgive my husband but we lost our church in the fallout. We are 8 months into our reconciliation and I grieve everyday for my husband who now knows first hand the truth of Prov 6: 32-33 “Whoever commits adultery with a woman lacks understanding; He who does so destroys his own soul. Wounds and dishonor he will get, and his reproach will not be wiped away.” My husband hates himself for what he did. He has fully repented and is now taking his faith walk seriously. He knows there is no condemnation in Christ Jesus but like a terrible scar from a self inflicted wound, the shame of his actions will always be there.)
Thank you for addressing this, Harris. It is wonderful to see young people answer the call to authentic faith. The world will only know that Jesus is real thru His supernatural work in our totally surrendered lives.
Help us Lord I pray… (sorry this is so long)
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My friend let me in on this little blog and asked for my opinion. Here is what i sent him via a personal message. thought it might help both the writer and the readers here.
A ton of what this guy has to say is extremely experiential based. Further, it is based from frustration. If we are going to rebuke, even out of frustration, it needs to be done with Scripture. Not just some egomaniacal rant that holds no weight or bearing for actually changing someone’s heart. Scripture and the Spirit rebuke and bring sanctification, not our frustration (2 Thes 2:13, 2 Tim 3:16)
Further, this comment; “You just eliminated the most powerful evidence of God’s existence: Experiencing God through one of His believers.” really really needs to be checked at the blog-door. Yes, believers can play a big part of showing the existence of God (2 Cor 2:14, Phil 2:15, matt 5:16 etc.) But this is certainly NOT God’s primary means of revealing Himself to human beings. There is all sorts of revelation that God uses that have NOTHING to do with “his believers” and these would be the PRIMARY means by which God reveals himself: example of what is called general revelation; all of creation reveals God and is a primary and very powerful means of evidence arguing for God’s existence Psalm 19:1-5 the heavens displaying His glory, Rom 1: 18 and on speaking of ALL creation revealing the invisible attributes of God for as long as they have been in existence. Rom 2 speaks of the moral-internal law of God written on every gentile heart! this list of general revelation can go on, but i think you see my point. 2nd is what we call special revelation. This is primarily the means by which God reveals himself most fully. That is to say, “the single best evidence” of Him. This is done in and with His very Son Jesus Christ and with his Holy word. The biggest Scriptures here are things like Hebrews 1:1-3, the entire Gospel of John when Jesus speaks in terms of how he “reveals” or “explains” or “makes manifest” the Father. further, he says things like, “if you have seen me, you have seen the Father.” Jesus Christ and the word of God are the best evidence for God’s existence, not “bad acting believers.”
Here are the facts. Yes it sucks that “christians” run God’s name through the dirt. but do you think God is caught off guard with them doing that? of course not. He has His own means to reveal Himself to who He will. He does need “believers” to be a “powerful evidence” for his revelation. Does He use us as that at times? of course! but if He left that up to us, we would have fowled it up centuries ago.
The facts are that God uses His vast, beautiful, magnificent creation to reveal himself. the fact is that God HIMSELF places His law on all gentile hearts. The fact is that God reveals Himself in a special way through His very Son Jesus Christ and further that Son is best revealed in His Holy Word the bible. the fact is that God’s Spirit sovereignly blows where He wills to bring about any of these evidences in the heart of unbelievers (John 3:8 and context), by the will of the Father, though the Son and his voice (John 10 and context) not because…. “i was acting nice and playing the Christian card.” God is far to powerful to let us have the reigns at all times. He gracious allows us to partake in revealing Him to others, but only by His means and through His purposes, by His will.
Sorry it just doesnt hold weight.
~rpc
Look, if he is going to rebuke, he needs to do it in love (Heb 4:14-15) and he needs to do it with solid biblical teaching for the purpose of love, with a clear conscience, a sincere faith, and a pure heart (1 Tim 1:5). Further, i would say that the Apostles and Jesus did all the ranting necessary for rebuke on the subject. Christ was very frustrated with hypocrisy and preached on it often. I would tell him to used those Scriptures.
Because i mean, lets be honest, a frustrated rant based in opinion about how others live their lives is nothing more then that, a frustrated rant.
Frustrated rants arent going to change heats. but the Scriptures will with by the Spirit.
ok. thats my two cents and 15 minutes worth. hope it helped man.
WOW! This post is actually really accurate…
BigTsButterfly – Wow! I am SO sorry to hear about what you’ve gone through. Ugh. At the same time, I’m encouraged by how you’ve responded, and praise God that He is working through the situation. It’s so inspiring to hear the second half of your story. Of course it’s hard, but it’s rare to hear that people are working to reconcile. Thank you so, so much for your willingness to share your story. I genuinely appreciate it, and the perspective it offers.
RPC -
First of all, I appreciate your willingness to publicly post this. It really helps with the discussion, and very rarely do blogs get well-grounded comments that oppose the author of the blog. You seem reasonable, but most others who post in disagreement are outrageous in their opposition. For that, I thank you.
A few thoughts in response…
1. I agree with your comments regarding the use and purpose of Scripture. Especially as it relates to rebuking. But I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t struggling with this. Just trying to be honest. This was written from a perspective of the friends that I know who are rejecting Christ, purely based on their experience with who are technically “non-believers”, but claim to be “christians”. (This label, “christian”, and what it really means, is a huge source of the problem.) It doesn’t make sense to me to reason with people using only scripture. The day before I wrote this, I had a long discussion with a friend who doesn’t even believe the Bible is true. A lot of the people who I’m friends with who are running around town w/ the Christian label don’t even believe in absolute truth. I know, to you and I, that makes no sense at all. But, that’s what they believe, and they still type “christian” into their Facebook profile. What difference will it make to throw Bible verses out to those people? Reason and logic, (rooted in truth of course), is sometimes the only groundwork you have to work from. I could be off base here, but currently, I’m struggling to find a form of influence that makes more sense in this kind of situation, with people who have this kind of worldview.
2. Regarding my frustration, I don’t see anything wrong with it. It definitely doesn’t make me an “egomaniac” as you mentioned and labeled me above. Even if my thoughts aren’t accurate, I’m not sure that’s a fair label. I don’t get where you’re coming from on this. Of course I was frustrated when this was written, and still am. Of course it’s filled with emotion, which can sometimes be dangerous. And of course it’s a “rant.” BUT, isn’t that what I labeled it as? Not only is it in the title, it wasn’t driven by ego. It’s coming from a sincere humility and heart brokenness. My frustration is coming from the tears I’ve shed, especially over the last week, of seeing people I care about and have invested in deny God’s existence because of how they see “christians” live. To call it nothing more than a rant, and to deny any form of content that doesn’t contain scripture references as something that won’t influence, or shouldn’t influence, or even unable to change hearts would be very, very foolish. You said, “Frustrated rants aren’t going to change hearts.” Yet, I’ve seen more than one by people far more influential than myself, change tons of hearts, both for good and bad. One of my favorite quotes of all time was when who I believe was Billy Graham said, “The greatest cause of atheism in the world today is Christians, who acknowledge God with their lips, then deny Him with their lifestyle.” That quote, along with hundreds of songs, videos, and other forms of art have certainly touched hearts and influenced others. Many of which were rooted in truth, but never quoted a Bible verse. Just as God doesn’t always need us, He can also use something other than His word, without ever quoting it in that moment.
3. You stated, “Here are the facts. Yes it sucks that “christians” run God’s name through the dirt. but do you think God is caught off guard with them doing that? of course not. He has His own means to reveal Himself to who He will. He does need “believers” to be a “powerful evidence” for his revelation. Does He use us as that at times? of course! but if He left that up to us, we would have fowled it up centuries ago.” I’m not trying to communicate that we as humans are God’s only hope for the world. Far from that. Maybe I should have attempted to be more clear as to what ELSE God CAN use. Of course if it were left only to us, we would have messed it up a long time ago. Thank you for bringing this up, along with all of the other references regarding how God works.
I have other thoughts, but I think these are the main ones, and I want to keep this as short as I can. The ultimate bottom line in my response is probably in regards to who I’m speaking/writing to. One of the biggest, uncontrollable problems with blogs is controlling who reads them. It’s impossible. However, the author of the blog, (probably more than anyone else), has the most accurate grasp on who the people are that represent the visits and readers.
This blog was not written to followers of Christ, who are in the process of being refined by the God they’re following. If that’s who I were writing to, I would’ve used as many verses as you did. But if someone is using the label “Christian” to apply to a life that hasn’t been transformed, has no fruit, and no history of any form of commitment to Christ, or a commitment to scripture, throwing out Bible verses to rebuke their “sin” isn’t going to change much. If they cared about those verses, they’d understand that their “label” doesn’t make them a “Christian.”
I don’t have all the answers, and your comments have genuinely made me think…something I will continue to do and learn from. And because of that, I thank you again for sharing them.
Thank you for this! I was starting to think that I was the only one that was frustrated by people loosely using the title “Christian.” It perturbs me to no end when I see Christian as a religious view on a Facebook profile and browse through their profile and see no evidence of Christ.
I admit that I am in no way perfect but I think there is a difference in trying to live like Christ and just living how you want to live. Thanks for sharing your frustrations.
PS your quote is actually by Brennan Manning.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brennan_Manning