When I was 9 years old, I got a magic set for Christmas from my grandmother.  Not at all what I asked for, but that’s what I got.  Turns out, it changed my life.  When I was 11, I got paid $25 to do my first “real” show.  By 14, I was traveling, performing for schools and churches, and even at all kinds of public and private parties and events. By 16, I got my first cruise ship gig, performing on a big boat back and forth from the Carribean.  By 18, I was making almost $200,000 a year.  By 25, I had made a million dollars in my lifetime.  And I had wasted every penny of it.

I know.  Stupid.  Really, really stupid.  And I have plenty of friends that know my story, most of whom have said the same encouraging words, “Well, be thankful you figured that out at age 25 instead of 50, like so many others.”  Yeah, yeah. I mean, thanks, I appreciate it, but it was still really stupid. All I have to show for all the money I wasted is debt. Turns out, Dave Ramsey isn’t the moron a lot of others claim he is.

What’s ironic about this story is that I was seemingly successful, in the process of being a failure. But it was really just the illusion of success.

I’ve learned a lot in the past few years.  My wife and I have down-sized twice, decreased our living expenses by thousands of dollars a month, live incredibly simple lifestyles, and in the past 3 years, have paid off almost $150,000 in debt.  Because of our intensity, we’d be debt free by now, but we’ve hit a few uncontrollable road blocks along the way.  Freedom is close. We can taste it!

For the record, all of this really comes down to one simple truth: I was created to worship my creator, and somewhere along the way, regardless of my intentions or how I was raised, I got tricked and deceived into worshiping myself.  And that my friends, will leave your soul feeling even more empty than your bank account.

And let’s face it…the big fancy house we built, (which I sold 4 years ago), wasn’t even about the house.  The expensive SUV’s I drove, weren’t even about the SUV’s. The big screen TV’s had nothing to do with my desire for big TV’s.  I rarely watched them.  Instead, it was about doing everything in my power to control the perceptions of other people, so they could see me, the way I wanted them to see me.  My house was nothing but a monument to my existence.  The only thing I was really successful at, was creating the illusion of success.  The sad part?  A lot of others believed it.  But then again, creating illusions is something I excel at, and that isn’t always a good thing.

So what about today? Well, I take a very small salary.  The honest truth is, though it’s not what most others perceive, we barely make it by each month.  And that’s mainly due to the size of the dreams we chase.  The way I see it, if it isn’t God-sized, it isn’t worth chasing.  But from the moment I discovered the reality that I was being stupid with my time, money, and talents, and changed the way we do things, I’ve still continued to fail over and over again.  It’s now just a different kind of failure, and I no longer have the illusion of success.

To understand what I’m talking about, you really have to have an understanding of our model, and my vision for what I’m pursuing…

I’ve learned in the last 2 years that free shows in church buildings attract a lot of “christians.”  I’ve also learned that doing a quality show in a cool theatre, and charging people a few bucks to see the show, attracts a lot of people who are searching for meaning, purpose, and truth.  It’s actually somewhat fascinating to me, but really seems like common sense if you think about it.  And if my vision is to share truth with people in a world filled with deception, well, it makes a lot of sense to go to those people, in the places they’re already being entertained.  (A lot more sense than waving around a flag or poster begging them to come see me in a place they already don’t want to come to, and care much about something they got for free.)

Without going into a long, drawn out and detailed explanation of business, economics, and marketing, let me simply say this: For that model to work, I have to find a way to promote and spread the word about our shows to people who have never heard of me.  Musicians have Radio. Comedians have Comedy Central, XM, and iTunes. Illusionists? Well, we can do TV, but you can imagine how difficult that is.  And even Criss Angel has his own TV show, while his Vegas show is failing miserably.  It’s hard.  Really, really hard!

But, what if there were people who already had the resources, relationships, talents, and influence to partner with me in successfully pulling off these types of events? Turns out, there are plenty of them.  But there’s a really big catch: They don’t want to partner with us.

“Promoters,” (as they’re commonly called in my circles), usually spend their time and resources on acts that draw crowds. (Usually because big crowds equal profit.)  Those promoters base their crowd size expectations on how many albums a band has sold in their area, if they have a hit song on the local radio station, etc. Obviously, those are two things I have neither of. But what’s ironic about this is that these same promoters are saying, “There’s a ton of concerts and music tours out there right now. I’m looking for something different.”  So, we offer it. We offer them something unique, creative, and different.  And we offer it along with a handful of examples of a few promoters who have given us a shot, and had huge successes with sold-out shows.  But when it comes down to it, we’re told over and over again, “Ummm…we aren’t interested in taking the risk in bringing in something that doesn’t have a track record. I mean, it looks cool, and it’s really creative, and I bet the show is awesome, but it’s just not something we’re willing to try.”

I’m thankful for the few leaders and promoters who have been willing to think outside the box, try something different, and partner with us.  We just don’t have enough of them yet for this thing to be truly successful.  I don’t take those few for granted in any way, and thank God for them daily.

Earlier this week, I had a meeting with the team of guys who handle all of my booking.  I just finished writing an incredible, brand-new show, and released it as our new fall tour for 2010, and I will transparently admit that it’s been the same story.  In our meeting, they let me know that the response they’re getting is the usual, “Looks cool, but we aren’t willing to take the risk.”  (Except of course from the people who booked us last year and had 100% sold-out shows.  They’re more than excited to have us back!)

When we bring our show to a community, people do show up.  They do stand up and clap at the end.  They do take the time to say hi in the lobby afterwards and express their appreciation.  They do send me emails and letters, sharing their stories of how their lives were touched or challenged by the content shared through our art.  And yes, one by one, we are finding people who are willing to put their visions before their fear, and come alongside us as we journey towards something new.  And one by one, those people are winning big, especially for the kingdom, in the perspective of eternity.

If you have a desire to host us, just get in touch.  Don’t worry about money.  I’ll carry the risk with you.  I’ve seen God honor the vision. Join us, and try something different.  It’s not fun to publicly confess this stuff, in a place where your peers can easily access it, but I’m proud of the vision we’re chasing, the changes we’re making, the way we’re pushing ourselves to be creative and different, and I share it all in hopes that a few more, one by one, will jump on board and partner with us.

I may still be failing, but I only phrase it that way because my dreams haven’t yet been realized!  There are definitely no longer illusions of success in my life.  I have my eyes focused on a different prize, and I’ve got a strong feeling that as long as I dream big, some failure will always be in my future.

Tags: bj harris, christian, concert promoters, Dave Ramsey, debt, harris iii, illusionist, magician, success

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