I know.  Stupid.  Really, really stupid.  And I have plenty of friends that know my story, most of whom have said the same encouraging words, “Well, be thankful you figured that out at age 25 instead of 50, like so many others.”  Yeah, yeah. I mean, thanks, I appreciate it, but it was still really stupid. All I have to show for all the money I wasted is debt. Turns out, Dave Ramsey isn’t the moron a lot of others claim he is.

What’s ironic about this story is that I was seemingly successful, in the process of being a failure. But it was really just the illusion of success.

I’ve learned a lot in the past few years.  My wife and I have down-sized twice, decreased our living expenses by thousands of dollars a month, live incredibly simple lifestyles, and in the past 3 years, have paid off almost $150,000 in debt.  Because of our intensity, we’d be debt free by now, but we’ve hit a few uncontrollable road blocks along the way.  Freedom is close. We can taste it!

For the record, all of this really comes down to one simple truth: I was created to worship my creator, and somewhere along the way, regardless of my intentions or how I was raised, I got tricked and deceived into worshiping myself.  And that my friends, will leave your soul feeling even more empty than your bank account.

And let’s face it…the big fancy house we built, (which I sold 4 years ago), wasn’t even about the house.  The expensive SUV’s I drove, weren’t even about the SUV’s. The big screen TV’s had nothing to do with my desire for big TV’s.  I rarely watched them.  Instead, it was about doing everything in my power to control the perceptions of other people, so they could see me, the way I wanted them to see me.  My house was nothing but a monument to my existence.  The only thing I was really successful at, was creating the illusion of success.  The sad part?  A lot of others believed it.  But then again, creating illusions is something I excel at, and that isn’t always a good thing.

So what about today? Well, I take a very small salary.  The honest truth is, though it’s not what most others perceive, we barely make it by each month.  And that’s mainly due to the size of the dreams we chase.  The way I see it, if it isn’t God-sized, it isn’t worth chasing.  But from the moment I discovered the reality that I was being stupid with my time, money, and talents, and changed the way we do things, I’ve still continued to fail over and over again.  It’s now just a different kind of failure, and I no longer have the illusion of success.

To understand what I’m talking about, you really have to have an understanding of our model, and my vision for what I’m pursuing…

I’ve learned in the last 2 years that free shows in church buildings attract a lot of “christians.”  I’ve also learned that doing a quality show in a cool theatre, and charging people a few bucks to see the show, attracts a lot of people who are searching for meaning, purpose, and truth.  It’s actually somewhat fascinating to me, but really seems like common sense if you think about it.  And if my vision is to share truth with people in a world filled with deception, well, it makes a lot of sense to go to those people, in the places they’re already being entertained.  (A lot more sense than waving around a flag or poster begging them to come see me in a place they already don’t want to come to, and care much about something they got for free.)

Without going into a long, drawn out and detailed explanation of business, economics, and marketing, let me simply say this: For that model to work, I have to find a way to promote and spread the word about our shows to people who have never heard of me.  Musicians have Radio. Comedians have Comedy Central, XM, and iTunes. Illusionists? Well, we can do TV, but you can imagine how difficult that is.  And even Criss Angel has his own TV show, while his Vegas show is failing miserably.  It’s hard.  Really, really hard!

But, what if there were people who already had the resources, relationships, talents, and influence to partner with me in successfully pulling off these types of events? Turns out, there are plenty of them.  But there’s a really big catch: They don’t want to partner with us.

“Promoters,” (as they’re commonly called in my circles), usually spend their time and resources on acts that draw crowds. (Usually because big crowds equal profit.)  Those promoters base their crowd size expectations on how many albums a band has sold in their area, if they have a hit song on the local radio station, etc. Obviously, those are two things I have neither of. But what’s ironic about this is that these same promoters are saying, “There’s a ton of concerts and music tours out there right now. I’m looking for something different.”  So, we offer it. We offer them something unique, creative, and different.  And we offer it along with a handful of examples of a few promoters who have given us a shot, and had huge successes with sold-out shows.  But when it comes down to it, we’re told over and over again, “Ummm…we aren’t interested in taking the risk in bringing in something that doesn’t have a track record. I mean, it looks cool, and it’s really creative, and I bet the show is awesome, but it’s just not something we’re willing to try.”

I’m thankful for the few leaders and promoters who have been willing to think outside the box, try something different, and partner with us.  We just don’t have enough of them yet for this thing to be truly successful.  I don’t take those few for granted in any way, and thank God for them daily.

Earlier this week, I had a meeting with the team of guys who handle all of my booking.  I just finished writing an incredible, brand-new show, and released it as our new fall tour for 2010, and I will transparently admit that it’s been the same story.  In our meeting, they let me know that the response they’re getting is the usual, “Looks cool, but we aren’t willing to take the risk.”  (Except of course from the people who booked us last year and had 100% sold-out shows.  They’re more than excited to have us back!)

When we bring our show to a community, people do show up.  They do stand up and clap at the end.  They do take the time to say hi in the lobby afterwards and express their appreciation.  They do send me emails and letters, sharing their stories of how their lives were touched or challenged by the content shared through our art.  And yes, one by one, we are finding people who are willing to put their visions before their fear, and come alongside us as we journey towards something new.  And one by one, those people are winning big, especially for the kingdom, in the perspective of eternity.

If you have a desire to host us, just get in touch.  Don’t worry about money.  I’ll carry the risk with you.  I’ve seen God honor the vision. Join us, and try something different.  It’s not fun to publicly confess this stuff, in a place where your peers can easily access it, but I’m proud of the vision we’re chasing, the changes we’re making, the way we’re pushing ourselves to be creative and different, and I share it all in hopes that a few more, one by one, will jump on board and partner with us.

I may still be failing, but I only phrase it that way because my dreams haven’t yet been realized!  There are definitely no longer illusions of success in my life.  I have my eyes focused on a different prize, and I’ve got a strong feeling that as long as I dream big, some failure will always be in my future.

Watch the video. Seriously ask yourself, and God, if this is something you should be a part of. I can’t show you pictures of starving children or people in need of clean water, but if you were here, you’d see God changing the hearts and lives of the people in this video.  Check this out…

Harris, III – Master Illusionist :: 2009 Thailand Vision & Highlight Video (Part 1) from Harris, III on Vimeo.

Your donations, large and small, make this project possible. You’re playing a role in the lives of thousands of people, and giving them an opportunity to discover life, joy, and freedom.  Please consider contributing to what God is doing through an online, tax-deductible donation.

This past weekend, in the process of performing the illusion with a copy of the USA Today, I noticed a page with a huge photo of a guy holding a deck of cards, along with a headline referencing magic.  After looking into it, I discovered an incredible article titled, “Neuroscientists: Why is the brain deceived as if by magic?”

There was a large meeting recently in Chicago where scientists gathered to watch magicians performing their art, and then had a large discussion about attention, memory, and perception.  The article featured a great quote by Thomas Carew, the president for the Society of Neuroscience:

“There is no better way to see how the mind works than to study how we can be deceived.”  

Amen to that!

The scientific community and its researchers are now hoping to learn from illusionists, because apparently, they’re now realizing that we understand how deception works on an incredibly deep level, and our expertise in the area of how people are fooled is unmatched by any other field.

What if the church did this?  What if christians listened to magicians who understand deception?  What could they learn?

Me and some of my illusionist friends have been talking about deception for years now, specifically from our unique perspective, yet it still seems like the church isn’t listening.  At the same time, there is just as much deception taking place in the lives of Christians as in the lives of anyone else. As an illusionist, (an expert in deception), and a follower of Christ, there is a unique perspective that I have the ability of bringing regarding illusions we all believe, and the deception that permeates our lives.  It’s sad when a medium is abandoned based on the fear of its use, while the message of truth that medium is capable of delivering could dramatically change lives.

The article is USA today is a good one, and I highly suggest you read it.  It’s really, really fascinating.

It’s a great idea to ask yourself, “How have I been deceived?”

It’s a good question, but the chances are pretty good that you can’t fully answer it. If you could, you’d likely choose the truth over the lies your mind has believed.  You’re deceived every single day, but you don’t even realize it.  The problem is not a limited access to truth, but a major lack of awareness of how we are deceived.

So here’s a better question: What if you’ve been deceived, and don’t even realize it?

Because I am open about my faith, and often incorporate it into my show so that my art has substance, I am most certainly a different kind of illusionist.  Who I am affects what I do. What I believe affects my work. And my Creator is involved in the experiences I create.  Like me, who you are affects how you do what you do…whether you’re aware of it or not.

Because I’ve discovered over and over again that labels ultimately fail, and because it got piles of conversations going 4 years ago, and then again when reposted 2 years later, here’s the original post yet again. Enjoy, comment, and pass it along…

The word “Christian”: Is it a Noun or Adjective?

I think it’s a great noun and a really poor adjective. But I haven’t always thought this way.

The person that opened my eyes was Rob Bell, the pastor of Mars Hill Church up in Grand Rapids, MI. You may also know him from the highly popular Nooma films. While I don’t always fully agree 100% with everything he does or teaches, he does have some good things to say, and I respect him for the questions he asks, and the discussions he prompts. For example…

For years, I billed myself as a “Christian Illusionist,” because that’s what I thought I was supposed to do. There were “Christian Musicians,” “Christian Bands,” “Christian Comedians.” I thought, “I’m an illusionist, and a Christian, therefore I guess I’m supposed to be called a “Christian Illusionist.”

If the guy that works on my truck when it breaks down is a Christian, why isn’t he called a “Christian Mechanic?”

Something didn’t make sense. My thinking was flawed.

I share the opinion of Rob Bell in at least this area: Part of what it means to be Christian is to do whatever it is that you do with great passion and devotion. Rob says in his book, Velvet Elvis, “We throw ourselves into our work because everything is sacred.”

In Colossians, Paul says, “Whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus.” He’s teaching people to live as Christians…to BE Christians. Then, whatever they do will be sacred, holy work.

Christian. Great noun, poor adjective.

So what about music and magic and comedy and mechanics?

Well, for just one example, music was really created by God. Therefore, it’s already sacred. God created it, and it doesn’t need a label to make it sacred or acceptable or blessed. (BTW: Is the same true for the food we eat? Is it already blessed, or do we need to “bless” it?)

So if all this is true, it’d pretty much be impossible for a Christian to have a “secular” job. As Bell says, “If you follow Jesus and are doing what you do in his name, then it is no longer secular work; it’s sacred. You are there; God is there. The difference is our awareness.” (That’s an important word – Awareness. Another future post…)

He goes onto to say later that, “The goal isn’t to bring everyone’s work into the church; the goal is for the church to be these unique kinds of people who are transforming the places they live and work and play because they understand the whole earth is filled with the kavod of God. God isn’t in one building only. Doing things for God happens all the time, everywhere. If you are an actor, the goal isn’t for you to do your work in a church building in a church service. Please go wherever it is in the world that people act and do it well. Really well. Throw yourself into it and give it everything you have.”

So ultimately, the labels somehow fail. No matter how useful they seem to be from time to time, they just don’t work because the life of Jesus is just that…a life that is lived by people who have oriented their entire lives about Him and His teachings.

One of the things I stress over and over again in a lot of our live events is to test everything. As Christians, we’re to be alert and engaged, and not let everyone else do the thinking for us. If we do that, we’ll make assumptions and be easily deceived. One of the dangers of labeling things “Christian” is because of that reason. It can lead to us blindly accepting things and consuming them as truth. And why do we do it? Because we assume that if it’s labeled “Christian,” then it must be safe and acceptable. Unfortunately, it just doesn’t work out that way. All the “Christian Stuff” in our culture isn’t completely safe and acceptable. Something can be labeled “Christian” and not be true or good.

I can’t tell you the amount of times that I’ve experienced this. It’s happened at conferences, churches, on TV, in bookstores, and on and on and on. And don’t get me wrong. I’m not an authority on truth. God is. I’m not referring to the books and speakers and churches that push the envelope on what most of us may refer to as “gray areas.” I’m referring to blatant deception that becomes accepted simply because of it’s label.

Let’s wrap this up. Take a look at one more paragraph out of Rob’s book…

“This happens in all sorts of areas. It is possible for music to be labeled Christian and be terrible music. It could lack creativity and inspiration. The lyrics could be recycled cliches. That “Christian” band could actually be giving Jesus a bad name because they aren’t a great band. It is possible for a movie to be a “Christian” movie and to be a terrible movie. It may actually desecrate the art form in its quality and storytelling and craft. Just because it is a Christian book by a Christian author and it was purchased in a Christian bookstore doesn’t mean it is all true or good or beautiful. A Christian political group puts me in an awkward position: What if I disagree with them? Am I less of a Christian? What if I am convinced the “Christian” thing to do is to vote the exact opposite?”

I could echo Rob’s words on my own art form! It applies to every vocation.

Again, we have to test everything.

In the meantime, I’m not a “Christian Illusionist.” Not because I’m leaving ministry and my role in the local church has changed. My purpose hasn’t changed. My label has. I’ve always hated labels anyway…

I’m an illusionist.

And, I’m a Christian.

It’s an awesome noun, but a really poor adjective.