Until I found my life falling apart at the age of 21, and through a long series of events and circumstances, I no longer had a choice.  I couldn’t fake it any longer.  I did what was to date, the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do: I had to ask for help.

I had to confess my pain, short comings, and failures, and my need for help from others.  It was a season of life in which I was greatly humbled, and quickly brought to my knees.  It sucked. I cried.  A lot.  And the illusion I’d created for those around me to see, immediately started to crumble.  The curtain was pulled back, and my failures became visible to others.  Trust me, illusionists do not like getting caught.  But it turns out, us magicians aren’t alone.  It’s hard for all of us when our secrets are revealed.

That was over five years ago now, and though learning to be authentic was a difficult journey, I’ve actually found a lot of joy and freedom in the process.  Some of the most incredible things that have ever happened to me have happened over the past few years, simply in response to my willingness to ask someone for help.  Maybe it’s something you need to do, right now.  I’m about to ask you for help, but maybe you shouldn’t keep reading.  Maybe you’re struggling with an addiction.  Maybe there’s an illusion you’ve been creating and living.  Maybe you have a secret that needs to be told.  Maybe you should stop reading right now, and go get real. I’m tellin’ you, once you taste the freedom of living authentically, you’ll never go back.  Plus, if you’re willing to get real, you’ll be helping yourself get healthy, and it’ll be much easier for you to help others.

Please don’t get me wrong…I’ve still got issues! (Don’t we all?) But thankfully, I’m no longer too prideful to ask you for help, especially when I genuinely need it.  That’s what the church is for, and it’s a beautiful thing when people live in true community with each other, pitching in whenever necessary, and helping others when possible.  Over the next few days, once a day, I’m going to be asking you to do just that.

HERE’S THE DEAL

Just a couple of short weeks ago, I got news that our tour in Thailand had been cancelled. We were supposed to be spending about 6 weeks there, beginning at the end of June, performing at 28 different colleges and universities throughout the country.  Well, seemingly out of nowhere, government protesting starting taking place, and a group of people started bombing buildings and burning malls.  Travel warnings were immediately issued after the violence. Within days, 21 people were dead, and 874 were injured.  It’s the worst political violence in nearly two decades, and is causing all sorts of issues. The Thai government also put an immediate rule in place forbidding any form of large, public gatherings of people, and unfortunately, that includes really cool magic shows.  So, now there’s no tour.

Where does that leave us? Well, we now have the entire month of July and much of August open on our calendar, with nothing to do.  It also cancels out any potential income and/or support.  But I’m not asking you for money, and this is most certainly not a fund-raising letter.  The last thing I’m looking for is a hand-out!  But I’m going to get creative and make this work, and I think some really beautiful things are going to happen as a result of your willingness to pitch in!  I’ve quickly gone from the “Oh no, now what are we going to do” freak-out stage, and am now just flat out excited about the potential of what could happen if all of those who believe in us and what we do, all worked together!

There are some very simple, practical ways for you to help and support our work.  Cool?  Yes?  Maybe?  I promise, if you had the ability to discover, visit, and read this blog post, then you can handle these any one of these 3 things.

So please, stay tuned.  I really need your help!  And finally, I’m not afraid to ask for it.  ;-)

[Note: If you're interested in learning more about what's happening in Thailand, and the violence taking place, there are news stories all over the internet.  Click here to see an example.]

Watch the video. Seriously ask yourself, and God, if this is something you should be a part of. I can’t show you pictures of starving children or people in need of clean water, but if you were here, you’d see God changing the hearts and lives of the people in this video.  Check this out…

Harris, III – Master Illusionist :: 2009 Thailand Vision & Highlight Video (Part 1) from Harris, III on Vimeo.

Your donations, large and small, make this project possible. You’re playing a role in the lives of thousands of people, and giving them an opportunity to discover life, joy, and freedom.  Please consider contributing to what God is doing through an online, tax-deductible donation.

We actually got here last night, and have had the last 24 hours to get reacquainted with Thailand.  We basically spent the day rummaging around Bangkok and doing our best to stay awake. It’s our initial effort in allowing our bodies to adjust to the 12 hour time change.

As I re-experienced Thai culture, I was once again reminded of the importance of being here.  There are “Spirit Houses” everywhere. They’re seemingly in every house, restaurant, and public building, in parks, and on street corners, and they’re a small sign of both sorrow and hope.

While a lot of the audiences I perform for in America seem to be running away from anything spiritual, the Thai people thrive on it.  While we’re all desperately trying to make sense of the world, the majority of people in Thailand are doing so through some form of spirituality.  The problem is, they’re just as unfulfilled because the path they’re on is an unending circle of deception.

However, at the same time, there is hope.  Hope found in the fact that the people here haven’t given up on their search for genuine spirituality.  They’re desperate to find it.  There are times in the U.S. that I am overwhelmed by how comfortably numb American audiences have become to the deception all around them. And those few who don’t seem numb, seem to be running from God.  And that doesn’t make any sense either, because they’re chasing after love.  And as Erwin McManus once wrote, “God is love.  To run from God but chase after love is maddening.”

All of our souls are craving something genuine.  The Thai people are neither numb to those cravings, or running away from them.  They’re desperately chasing both God and love.

The problem is, like many Americans, they’re looking in the wrong places. While Americans are usually obsessed with searching for approval from everyone around them, people here in Thailand are doing everything in their power to earn approval from God, (or “gods”, or “spirits”, or whoever/whatever the “powers at be” are).  If only there were enough people here to take the time to show them that they don’t have to earn it, but instead, just accept it…I can’t imagine what would happen through them.  ”Fully devoted followers” would quickly be a phrase that would accurately describe them.  Honestly, it’s something that already describes them.  They’re just following the wrong path.

During this season of Thanksgiving, I find myself increasingly thankful that there is nothing I can do to earn my God’s love, approval, or acceptance.  He is far too massive, holy, and perfect, and I’m far too full of pride, lust, fear, and selfishness.  Yet my God’s affection is far greater than my list of imperfections, and therefore, his desire for and pursuit of me justified sacrifice, his grace was and is perfectly sufficient, and he loves me just as I am.

Through that comes hope and freedom.  I don’t have to pay respects or give money to gold statues with big bellies, or even build little houses for spirits to dwell in.  I have hope and freedom that is only found through a relationship with the one true God, who through grace, accepts me and truly loves me, just for the asking. It wasn’t made possible by what I did or could do for him, but what he did for me.

Over the next 3 weeks, we’ll be sharing that same message of truth, hope, love, and freedom with people all over the country of Thailand.  We’ll be in private international schools, impoverished slums, and everything in-between.  We’ll be utilizing the unique talents and abilities that we’ve been given to share from a platform that few people can develop as quickly as we can in environments like these.  We’ll be using an art form that is truly universal, that crosses all age boundaries, cultural boundaries, and language boundaries, and engages any person from any walk of life!

Thailand is already desperately searching for truth, love, and purpose! We’re just here to show as many who live here as possible that they’ve been cleverly deceived into believing a counterfeit form of spirituality.  Our hope is that they will open the eyes of their hearts, and clearly see that rules and religion always fail, and the unconditional love offered from the one, true God can free them from the unending circle of spiritual performance.  Unlike we often do when performing for and speaking to audiences in America, we aren’t here to ask the people of Thailand to search. That’s something they’re already doing.  We’d just like to help re-direct their journeys, and point them to a love and acceptance that actually lasts.

Many here may believe that acceptance is found in building little “houses” that guard off “bad spirits” – spirits that can wreck your life, or even your chances at love. But we’d like to introduce them to the God who created them, the real love that He offers, and the true Spirit that can satisfy the deepest cravings of their souls.

We just sold out our entire fall tour, followed by some amazing solo performance opportunities, and 2010 is shaping up to be unbelievable.  And while huge financial gains haven’t been connected to those opportunities, there’s just a lot of really, really amazing things coming together that are big wins for our ministry.  Call it whatever you want…favor…success…it feels amazing. Especially after working so hard, and having the perspective gained from contrasting experiences, (like all the times it didn’t seem like there was light at the end of the tunnel).

But, (and that’s a BIG but), I’m nervous. Because my previous track record shows that I couldn’t handle success in a healthy way.

The other night I came home after a meeting on sort of an emotional high.  I just couldn’t believe how many things are falling into place for us right now.  And as I walked from my car to my house I caught myself having flashbacks to four years ago.  Four years ago, I was an arrogant fool.

Four years ago I was in a season of life where things were good.  Really good.  I was 21 years old, traveling all over the place, making really good money, living in a nice house, driving nice cars, eating really, really good steaks.  Then my whole world came crashing down…all because of my pride and arrogance.  My life was all about me, so God humbled me. And it turns out, that’s something he happens to be amazing at.

In moments like these in my journey, when my efforts are paying off and being blessed, I have to be really careful to not get too comfortable. So during that walk from my house to my car, I decided to talk to God and make a request. I prayed, “God, please do not allow me to get so comfortable that I lose focus. Don’t let me screw this all up and end up trying to make it all about me again. Do whatever it takes to protect me from myself, by reminding me that you are the lead role and starring character in this story, and that none of it is possible without you.”

Let me warn you. If you pray a prayer like that sincerely, God will honor your request.  I prayed that prayer two weeks ago, and while good things are continuing to happen, I’ve been reminded daily that none of it is possible without Him.  I am once again being humbled.

In just two days, we leave for a one month long tour in Thailand. We’ll be traveling all over the country doing shows daily, talking about the true meaning of Christmas, and sharing truth in dark places with people who are desperately searching for meaning. To make the trip possible, we needed to raise at least $5,000. When that was determined, I said, “No problem. I can raise that.”  Key word: “I.”

I couldn’t. I failed miserably.  But honestly, things have been going so well, I got a little cocky, and was feeling like I could do just about anything.  The reality is, I’ve spent the last 48 hours learning that God will provide when he chooses to, and he will probably choose to do so after I am reminded that I can’t do it without him.  He is in control, whether I like it or not.  And the moments I start to believe that I’m in control, I’m believing an illusion. Isn’t it amazing how often we run from God because we want to control things on our own, when in reality, it’s all out of our control to begin with? When you realize you’re out of control whether you like it or not, letting go and giving your life to God starts to make a lot of sense after all.

I posted our need of raising money online, along with information about the missions work we’re doing in Asia. I raised only $60 of the more than $5,000 we need. I even made it simple, by including a fancy little button so that people could easily donate online, and their gifts would be tax-deductible. Still, $60. So, I hosted a local show here in Nashville as a fund-raiser.  That night we raised only $400.  That puts me at less than $500, and we need $5,000, for a trip we leave for in only two days.

I have done everything I can to raise the money. So I woke up this morning pretty frustrated. And my frustration almost immediately turned to God. I thought, “God, what’s the deal?  It’s so clear to me that we’re doing what you’ve asked us to do. We’re taking the time off.  We’re not getting paid.  We’re traveling to the other side of the world. And I don’t even like Thai food. Why won’t you just provide the money we need??”

It was as if God immediately said, “Umm…remember when you asked me to remind you that this isn’t about you? I wanted to make sure that you remembered that none of this is possible without me.  So, now that I have your attention, I encourage you to walk by faith, not by sight.  That is the very message you’ve been sharing with others, right?”

Don’t you hate when that happens? I do, but I was once again reminded that I am not in control, and that’s a really, really good place to be.

Am I alone in this? What about you?  When things are going well for you, do you find yourself less in need of “faith”? Do you begin to get comfortable, and through that comfort, start to lose focus?  When has your over-confidence led to pride and arrogance, and how were you humbled by God?

Will God provide the funding we need?  Though it’s hard to believe sometimes, yes, I do believe that he will. I just hope he does it soon!  In the mean time, why freak out? I’m not in control anyway, so giving my false sense of control to God is actually a much better idea.  And if you haven’t tried it, I highly recommend it.